I'm not sure how the hell we got here - to the end of August. I've been saying to almost everyone I come in contact with (socially distanced and via the phone) that time has been nothing but an illusion this summer - there's no better way to describe it.
Starting a new job in the middle of a global pandemic, navigating some of the other changes in my life (like moving apartments for instance), and just trying to stay in a mentally positive place has been extremely hard - I can't lie. Today I wanted to share some really key pillars for me throughout a socially distant summer that got me through my days (just barely).
A Best Friend
I cannot stress how important it is to have positivity around you. For me, I cannot have anything that brings me down in the slightest, makes me feel sad, or makes me think a negative thought. The moment I catch a feeling like that, it's all downhill from there. I used to think "oh, the only person I have in this life is myself, I can't depend on anyone to help try and make me feel better, so I have to do it myself."
Now, you have your own power to do this, yes. BUT! Having people who truly love you and want nothing but the best for you amplifies your general wellbeing more than you will ever know.
This quickly translates into the power you have to be your true self. If you are unable to live (not just stand) strongly in your beliefs, act how you want to act, and ultimately live your best life - you are around the wrong people - 100%. Again, I never realized this until I turned 30 - so PLEASE take this as a warning.
My best friend has been by my side since I was 19. I met her in college and I love her more than words can say. I don't think its possible to have a relationship like ours because we are so unique in so many ways. We became close friends at school because we both felt like outcasts in similar ways - nothing brings two people together faster. We quickly realized we both came from distinctly different worlds, but that didn't stop us from being the best friends you can imagine. Over the past 11 years, we have had times where we went months not talking, or grew apart. That is how you know how strong the friendship is. One day I will do a full blog post about her - but for now, I wanted you to realize that a best friendship like this is everlasting - and THIS is who I want around me.
I know that she will drop absolutely anything to be by my side in an emergency - she has. I know that she will go behind my back and text my dad or another friend I have that might be physically closer to me to make sure I am okay if I say something that scares her about my mental health - she has. I know that she will buy me something from Home Goods if she thinks I will love it, even if I don't see her text until an hour later - she has. I know she will buy me endless things without me paying her back if I need them - she has.
The value of this is unbelievably next level. It is so pertinent to always ensure you have someone in your corner. This is a general reminder: YOU ARE NOT IN THIS ALONE. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO CHOOSE TO FIGHT DEMONS ALONE (even if they are all your own demons). I am still learning how to be emotional after a horrible childhood, so I am nowhere near good at it yet - but I could cry over her any day. I balled like an absolute child in front of probably 100 people when giving a speech at her bridal shower. And when I tell you I never cry - I NEVER cry.
If she is reading this - I love you.
My Small Town Favorites
I remember my last day in the city before COVID hit hard like it was yesterday. NYC is always going to be one of my favorite places on this planet. That being said - I was coming out of an appointment and went to catch the bus back uptown when my Dad called. I was excited to tell him about the appointment but before I could even say anything he says to me "Brittany, you get that next train out of Penn Station and you get home - and stay home," he goes, "this virus is no joke."
Now, for my dad to say this it was hitting different. My deep love for this city made me want to stay, but I listened to my dad continue, "We had a death in the plant today - it was from COVID." My dad works in a food processing plant, the entire thing was shut down, everyone was quarantined. I don't think I have ever gotten out of the city faster. I took a bus back uptown and a train right out of the city. I haven't been back in since then.
I remember calling my neighbor (who works in the diamond district, and who I normally commute with), and telling her I was leaving. She questioned it - I didn't. I wanted her to come with me, but she stayed.
Now that I have been spending so much time outside of the city - it has really allowed me to explore the small town wonders of Bergen County. It is so special for me to live here in general and I really take the value of that close to my heart. Before I was born, both of my parents lived here. I was born here. When I was a kid, they moved down to Ocean County and that's where I was raised. Now, my dad lives in Ocean County and I live in Bergen - it's actually insane.
The explorations to two of my favorite local bakeries (Erie & Lyndhurst Pastry Shop), and food establishments like Paisanos, Azteca, Elia and more make me so full of pride I cannot explain it. The love I have for these locations is so strong because it just amazes me that I am walking around the areas where my dad was as a younger kid. I have been able to visit my dads home he grew up in in Dumont multiple times, just to bring back the memories. I saw his elementary school, the grocery stores my grandma used to shop in. I feel so incredibly, powerfully connected to my grandma and grandpa and it's hard to find anything that could make me happier.
Aside from the purchasing, drinking, and dining element - there's also the outdoor favorites I've got. The parks in Nutley and Lambert Castle. The Great Falls at Paterson and the waterfront in Jersey City. The Stairway to Heaven in Vernon. I get excited just typing about it.
New Apartment Finds
When I moved out of my dads house, I didn't have near enough money to create the life and apartment that I wanted for myself. I knew that moving out was going to cost me a lot of time, energy, and money - but I wanted that more than I wanted a bunch of "decor" and tchotchkes. I went for it, and it took me literally 3 years to be able to spend some money here and there to finally get my apartment to the place I want it to be. There are more things that I still want - but I am lightyears further than I was three years ago and I couldn't feel happier.
Every single time I find something that I have spent so long dreaming about (like a rattan coaster for drinks, or the perfect side tables for my couch), I just get instantly gleeful. Yes, this isn't the cheapest solution for a clear mind this summer - but I will take it.
TikTok
Yes, you read that right. The social media platform that has been threatened to get cancelled. The addictive piece of media that had Instagram start up Reels. Yes, yes, yes. I am completely and utterly OBSESSED.
I have been an internet kid since the beginning. An OG internet kid. My dad always brought me up as a smart, knowledgeable, safe kid when it came to computers and the internet. I knew from a young age how to be safe online and what to avoid. I truly believe that blogging, YouTube and the internet in general has saved my life as a kid and even now as an adult. The opportunity that it has given me to just get away, travel into a different world, read, get lost, discover new things, has been so amazing.
TikTok, although a newer platform compared to FB, IG, TW, has been such an interesting experience. Absolutely every and anyone that posts content on the app can go viral. That's what's so good about it - the plane jane girl, the grandfather, the gorgeous bride, the stunning flower fields, the artist, the dancer, etc. It is an unbelievably heartwarming, hilarious, adventurous platform and there's always something new.
Perhaps one of the funniest thing about the platform is that people categorize it based on the content. You'll often hear, "Hey, are you on small business TikTok?" or "Are you on August 27 TikTok?" I can't explain it, if you know you know.
What has been keeping you afloat this summer? Aside from the obvious like family, food, music, and spontaneous trips to the beach when I'm visiting my dad, these are the couple of things that have kept me breathing this summer.
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